Smart Gift Givers Earn More Money and Enjoy Closer Relationships: Here’s How You Can Become One (without spending a penny)
The holidays are here, so it’s a good time to examine how we can really be there for people we care about.
Not every gift needs to be a Black Friday 5am special. You can spread a lot of good cheer if you’re thoughtful and intentional.
A present that always hits home?
Call a friend or family member you rarely speak to.
It might be uncomfortable, you might struggle with the words….you’ll hit your mark, no matter what you say.
In a world where texting is king, an unexpected phone call goes a long way. They’ll be beyond flattered, appreciative that you’ve kept them in your thoughts. A timely holiday greeting reminds a client why they did business with you in the first place.
Charisma is rooted in the understanding of what makes people tick and exhibiting the social graces that make others feel good around you. Keep the reason for the season in mind and you’re more than halfway there.
Making everyone else’s life easier: It’s a powerful force multiplier and the road to success. You will leave lasting impressions and elevate relationships to another level.
This same line of thinking shines when someone close to you experiences a loss.
What can you do the next time someone you care about in a time of sorrow?
“If you need anything, just ask.”
Or some variant of that. Leave that line on the bench.
It’s not particularly-helpful because it puts the onus on the affected to do the work. Maybe they’re too frazzled to do anything out of the ordinary. Or they’re uncomfortable asking others for help. Maybe they just don’t want to be a burden to anyone around them.
They’ve already got enough on their plate: You can make their lives easier by spending a few minutes devising a way to help.
That’s all it takes to stand out from the crowd of well-meaning — -but largely-unhelpful — -supporters. Don’t outsource the responsibility of providing assistance to the grieving; saddle up and find a way to contribute.
And let’s be frank: A lot of times when we offer the “Let-me-know-how-I-can-help” line, we don’t mean it sincerely. We really do want to make you feel better, but we’d rather not be burdened with another chore to add to our already-busy lives. If the grieving party never reaches out to us, we can sleep soundly, knowing that we did our part as a good friend.
If you really want to make a difference in their time of need, why not aim higher?
In most instances, the mourning won’t come out and ask for your assistance. They don’t want to impose on you or feel like they are a burden on anyone else. Most requests for support will be limited to a tight circle of close family and friends.
But rest assured, if you swoop in with an unexpected contribution, they’ll be relieved and forever grateful. There are few actions as memorable as an unsolicited thoughtful gesture.
Below, a few ways you can be a big help….
(These work just as well for avoiding presents bound for the “Re-gift” pile.)
1) Food
People like food.
People like free food (especially if it’s one of their favorites).
Make ’em something or take ’em out to eat, if you can shoulder the expense.
Nobody’s ever said, “Man, I wish Joe hadn’t sent me this free box of pizza. Now I won’t get to spend the next hour figuring out what I’ll eat for dinner.”
2) Service
Volunteer to perform a service for them.
If you’re dealing with a funeral, perhaps assisting with the wake and funeral arrangements. Research the five best value funeral parlors within 20 miles of their home and shoot them some options. Take some of the labor off their plate and put it on yours.
And your assistance isn’t restricted to the situation at hand. Anything that provides value to them will be welcomed. Maybe it’s cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids and pets etc.
Put your brain to work. Put your talents to use.
3) Quality Time
Some might want to be left alone with their thoughts. If you sense that’s the case, give them space. Many introverts dread having to entertain those who want to pay their respects, but don’t want to be rude by turning away guests and inquiries. They loathe that social obligation and, by staying away, you’d be doing them a favor.
If they’re starved for good conversation, be there to listen and let them vent. Feel free to broach subjects that might help them cope with their loss and move forward.
Your mere presence can accomplish wonders.
4) Gifts of the heart
Presents that support participation in their favorite hobbies.
If you’re more of a casual acquaintance and not comfortable spending face-to-face time with them, send ’em something they might actually like.
Your friend’s big on video games? A three-month subscription to Xbox Live.
Co-worker’s a regular gym-goer? A book on eliminating back and knee pain.
You don’t even have to spend money. Maybe you email them links to videos that can make ’em laugh or transport their mind to a better place. Or, point them in a direction to transform life going forward.
Don’t know much about them? Do some detective work; ask some people that do.
Sure, it’s the thought that counts, but “empathy” remains the name of the game. The average gift is like a free sample at Costco; they’re good, we’ll accept them, but they leave us wanting more.
Be a value-add to the lives of people you care about and you’ll reap a ten-fold benefit in your career and social life.
Merry Christmas, folks.
What’s the best gift you’ve ever received or given? Leave a comment or shoot me an email. I read every message.
